☆*.'・*. MOON ♡ BLEACH *.'・*.☆

Not that i prefer religious beliefs over none, but assuring the inexistence of a god is as
riddiculous as the cathegorical affirmation of it's existence.
I understand that they are different forms of christianism but that doesn't give
the rights to someone to judge a whole religion. I am not christian,
although I wish I were, just to piss off anti-christians.

Maybe am i too superstitious. Maybe my love for great stories of poltergeists, exorcisms
and hautings is biasing my opinion , too, but it's so fascinating. I wish it was still
possible to be scared of something a little more, .. irreverential than H1N1 flu.
(i'd like to specifiy how fagass is H1N1 flu besides my periods cramps)

I went to a Hindouist temple with my ethical & culture class, and we
god a blessing from Gamesha, and recieved an apple. It meant alot to me.

it has arrived, the first snow was at my window this morning!



i perfectly know i'll be pissed for the whole winter after two weeks of snow or so,
but it's so pretty i couldn't refrain being so happy about it . Especially when everything
and everyone is slowing down, theses times we're all so dull and down,
but i've planned on surviving winter. I'd like to make a snowman sometimes ~

i ditched school for taking pictures and dancing naked in my canopy today.
i couldn't sleep yesterday , .. mm i want to eat beef chicken rice <3333
this chinese restaurant near my home is the best, and it's true when they say
a meal is ten times better with friends around you , i love my friends <3333

i need to find work, even though im always so tired, im running out of
make-up and my roots are like 8 KM big, UNACCEPTABLE

xoxo

Dear friends, i'd lie if i said i wanted you to know earlier.
I wanted at least you not to be disapointed in myself as much as i was.
Just as i am writing , im trying to convince myself of posting this, trying to acknowledge how thin is the line between what i write and what i'll post. My only request would be for you to think of me as a loving person with the weakness of being naive, no matter how hard i try denying it, to you and to myself. You are free to reject this request, as i have to understand that it's a matter of choice.

I had a talk with my teacher that i still am having a hard time swallowing, and as for now it's strong enough to stay as a slap on my cheek. Then, it wouldn't be very honest of me if i wrote what was said down and agree as i want to do , since i can't agree without a sorrowful hesitation.

Despite myself, I still think of myself as a coward who choosed happiness over fighting , even when i couldn't fight things without being swallowed by them. But at least, the moment when i'll stop being so pretentious thinking i can save everything, may my thoughts stop leading nothing but constant disapointement in myself.

It might seems nothing to you, but i believe telling you not how much but only that i hate myself was one of my hardest steps i've took on my pride. I would say im sorry for making you see this, but i'd like not to be. Please don't feel sorry for me either , it may seems that way but telling all of this is a sign of mine to tell you that i am not in pain as much as i were yesterday anymore.
Meet my left cheek .

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

This winter im getting rid of my bang and will sew my extentions back, i want to be a sugar plum winter fairy .'・*.☆
Enlightement, when life's pleasures are as simple as a warm cover to watch movies online before going to sleep ~~

wait a minute i ADORE this
when you sit on one leg for too long, then get up and it's so wiggly that you can't
walk using it at all, and it's as if you just had loosed your leg, ahh i like this it's so cool

This is the life i've been leading lately, and it won't go nowhere as i write it down here.
Im not quite sure what word i should use to begin with, surely that nothing is and went wrong, (pretty much the other way around) , but surely that this is the strangest. If theses precious pieces would have been written by my hand as a tale, i would have been a black knight in front of an angel, down on my knees. She would gently pull down my hood and scrutinize my face, in silence, and lay a hand on my face. I'd close my eyes, breathing out , and would show me everything. Truth, childrens, religion , reality, water, sun , ice, until this feeling of detachment entierly reached her. I've drank enough poison to kill myself forever, but as i connected with my body, it fought against it. She lighted my fire and i burned until i was gone with the wind. This is it, i've become one with the wind. Im weirdly happy, i am violently taking vacancy at today and tomorrow

I could say im sorry of not being this way I should, and they are alot of times when i'd wish it, but never i'd be able to be without all of theses ghosts talking to me, all that i've heard, i guess im curious - If we were yesterday i would have said "it won't make any sense tomorrow but if it could have, it would have been wonderfull" - Well , i'll say it just like i said it, if it doesn't take sense tomorrow i can at least remember how wonderfull it was
My head is spinning, im horny but most of all i wonder how i got home at all and I think i hear the trees dancing.

Inbox >> November 15 at 6:27pm : Thank you very much. I hardly know how i could express my gratitude for this message,this context doesn't really allow me to say it bluntly , but i'll be wishing that, somehow, how thankfull i am will reach you.

you wanted to see me doing something like this didn't you u_u
im so shy but whatever enjoy >////<

On tuesday i had misled this very dear patience i had preciously recieved from life.
Any noise would have smoothered me as far as it would have covered the idiotic conversations
(that would usually be no problem of mine) or loudly humming voices in my ears.
It was abnormally uncomfortable how close people were to me,i was about to burst
the moment when people would slightly touch me. Too much people and too little space.

It was such a relief to finally walk this street leading to my home, alone with the sound
of the last leaves of autumn cracking under my feets, bath of cold cold wind in my open coat
My fluffy kitties greeting me like they always do, staring with their big eyes and following me
around the house, while i decided to make myself a nice hot cup of black vanilla tea

no television, no radio, no computer , no nothing, just silence, kittens, tea and a comfty couch.
I don't know what to do tomorrow, it's only november and i feel like curling in my bed for the whole season already - Even though i like that it's cold outside! I like wearing coats and warm clothes, i like feeling comfty <333

Giant trains, working teddies, waving plushies, bubbles,
giant everything and children-sized doors!! most amazing toy shop ever ;_;
 

I would have written in french today, since as usual,
but in a little more pronounced way, im having a hard time expressing myself theses times.
If i am killing myself trying always to express myself in words to be understood, while formerly i
would do it in pictures, songs and riddles, it's that i've been surrounded with people that corrupted me, distorting the meaning of my slightest expressions. Im ashamed of not being strong enough to go on nevertheless,but you see, it's as if whenever i'd try to go home, nobody's home. Don't worry, i know what to do, and i'll be fine,it's that i live this weakness in an empty house, until i really am ready to leave with all my strenght. I will need it outside.

This weekend i went to Quebec for Kasumi's halloween party !!
I had no hard time convincing my mother at all, since she knew how much i loved going,
back when i was like .. 14. This feeling stayed the same through the years, and even though
i didn't really liked how my costume turned out (here why i won't post much pictures) i had
too much fun to notice anything. Candice was with me, too ! School keeps us busy,
i was happy to spend time with her again like that, i probably was too busy to notice i missed her alot, too



Wearing my small plateform shoes (fossile left from my gothic era),
even though i don't like them that much, i though about how i miss wearing plateforms ..

To tell you the truth, i've become the most boring person on earth , (and it's nothing like
an exaggeration) avoiding all social activities and much more, but to tell you the truth,
my heart aches of relief to find back the time spent alone i've missed alot
So, i have nothing more to say than this picture , that i think is very talkative



la la la lala la la nirvana la la nirvana

im back to pink now! momo ~me ga haeta shiki~
I got this princess rod at Disney on ice ♡



More to come, i've had such a lovely day on my own today ~ ♡

( pièce )



✿ my post on Daily Lolita ✿

Finalement, c'est peut être mieux quand j'écris en anglais, là, je ferme pas ma gueule LOL
En fait, je cherche à constament m'améliorer, même si au fond, je ne suis jamais satisfaite.
(Pas que je cherche à être immpeccable, l'immpeccable m'emmerde terriblement,
fort probablement plus que le manque de substance à vrai dire)

(All apologies for the french entry, you're not missing much
besides my actual personnality that i can't seem to put in english words)

xox Petite Lady

 

Like my calculator that i haven't seen for months, i can't find my favourite pen!
My mother and sister seem to find pleasure in stealing school supplies ..
So i doodle serious drawings with stupid pencils, and screw up with my camera (but it's lovely) :



It's me , but with beautiful hair and a beautiful dress ! Very seriously, i need to improve
all that wardrobe and all thoses things i do to something that looks more like me , hmmm

I have a cellphone now  ; w ; as for now there's only a little mirror with Aurora and my pink
mushroom cellstrap that i managed to hang yayay ♥  So, i shall soon post cell pictures *.☆

xoxo  la la la la

As always i wanted to keep it a surprise ~ ♫
i had the most magical birthday gift you could ever wish for yes yes !!



What should i tell you about the most? There was entering the place
with all thoses colourfull shops , mickey mouse cottoncandy, plushs,
flashy flashy lightening toys in a crowd of little princesses and exited people,
or having my ass owned by the biggest crowd i have seen in my life ?

( ♡ DISNEY ON ICE ♡ )

thank you ,
to everyone ~ xoxox

 

Theses days are incredibly cold, and im pretty good at baring cold on winters
but theses days really are insane, even classrooms are freezing colds
As usual, cold makes me sleepy and I end up falling asleep everywhere

It feels like only two weeks ago, summer never was planning to leave
But i like Autumn really, it's time for black coordinations and layers of clothes!
And it's halloween soon isn't it <333 I've been decorating my room a little



isn't it cute~

It's either the cold or my new pillow that is too comfortable (mom buys pillow for fun once in two year),
but it gets me like 45 minutes to wake up, and getting out of bed is hell

My teacher told us , "we all are intelligent, since we all were able to talk "
I am deeply in love with the world working inside of me,
And i have such a hard time, since that time, expressing myself that nothing can get out
I've got to think that for this, i was being dumb for not being able to explain
But in the end, it's just like when you meet someone you just can't connect with,
and repport all fault on yourself for being too akward and not friendly enough

In a near future, i wish that i'll be able to tell a person what is going on
inside, without having to explain it as a literature analyze , that is
as strongly unpleasant as someone explaining a joke in details and why it's funny

Tomorrow, i'll be well rested and 'll get myself some yummy chinese food 

It's raining so much, all i was waiting for is to go home, get a hot chocolate and sleep ~
it's reassuring and peacefull that, my moments of hate are getting shorter each time
That i now end up feeling very peaceful afterwards, when i get to think that in the end,
i still am my very own self, and that only i can make it free and decide what colors are in my painting

i got myself here, i'll get myself out .

I saw Coco avant Channel this weekend !
I think it's that im not very difficult when it comes to visually pretty movies,
because i liked it alot even though it's true that it was kind of long and,
not very too much action, but still i really enjoyed it ! Oh popcorn is sacred



That little hat is from my Grandfather, when he
was a haute couture designer.My mother got all his hats,
i think she was a little mad i wore it, but i love it alot and though,
the little daughter wearing her grandfather's creations was lovely

( about the movie )

i've buyed Rose peppermints, it feels like eating a flower / drinking perfume
and that's an odd feeling, very but it's fun, and the box is so pretty



have a nice week everybody
xox

Hivers

even though she's sleeping on my favourite vintage dress
i love you, my precious little darling, i love you



Sick of sleeping,  waking up and being awake is an horrible part
but the worst is being too tired and sick of it all to try staying awake
i've been sleeping something like 14 hours per day,
i feel like i could melt in my room with all of the papers and clothes laying all around

i want to drink something cold with a strange taste,
i need to go on some kind of vacation, forget everything that i have right now
I feel pissed off too much by such small things, i need to go away a little bit
I've been spending alot of time alone , yes, but it's not the problem
i've been spending time alone with everyone, i want to feel truely alone, truely empty
a little blackout on my own

i started drawing and writing alot again,
im falling in love with my sketches all the time <333


you know what? i had a dream where me and i girl i really disrespect from my childhood
almost killed ourselves fighting , and i was angry, so angry
they can say whatever they want, i will not suck it up anymore, im done with this

Purikuras! From this weekend, after going to the museum Beaux-arts de Montréal
That is such a castle looking beautiful place, ahh i want to paint like Bouguereau so badly
I need to start practicing more with painting, so i stop laughing at myself as an "artist"



( chocolate philosophy ~ )

tomorrow i'll have morning coffee in my Baby,the Stars Shine Bright ! cup